spare me

I don't usually put effort toward buying things that are available for free. I can't imagine most people would.

So when I passed a man selling papers outside of the Whole Foods in Central Square, I felt more justified in my typical response, "Not today, thanks." Instead of the usual Spare Change News hawker, there was a man trying to sell copies of The Student Underground, which is widely available for free, on purpose.

But if he manages to get some cash from wealthy yuppies, and those yuppies actually read The Underground, I'm not going to complain.

big brother

As I was looking for tickets on the Paradise Rock Club site, I was prompted to accept a cookie. But not just any cookie. No, this seemed more obviously the big brother of cookies than most of the oddly names little treats that plant themselves on hard drive everywhere. But for such an ominous-sounding server, the cookie doesn't last very long. Peculiar indeed.

99 68 bottles of wine on the wall

If you're wondering what it takes to get on Massachusetts' Most Wanted list, the answer is not much.

I always assumed such lists were for murderers, rapists, people whose actions might fall under the category of violent crimes. But apparently all you have to do is steal fine wines - one bottle at a time.

Yes, that's right. According to an article in the Newton Tab, store owners are just catching on to a thief who went unnoticed for slowly depleting the wine racks of various liquor stores in this posh Boston suburb.

I'm just thrilled to hear that the Bay State's finest don't have better things to do. No, really, I mean it.

bitter morsels

Dis.gust.ing. That's pretty much all I have to say about Yahoo usurping del.icio.us.

But how did I not hear about this until just days ago? Have I been hiding under a rock? I mean, it happened not too long after the Flickr purchase, but I heard nary a word. With Flickr, it was obvious because of the login page change. But del.icio.us never stopped looking, well, delicious.

And users who bothered to read the del.icio.us blog (oops) are concerned about just that - Yahoo splattering ads everywhere and generally messing everything up. Can't say I'm not concerned about that myself. (And I guess I'm a dumbass for not ever reading the del.icio.us blog, because the news was right there. But why Yahoo decided not to disclose the terms of the agreement and kept it pretty quiet is a tad mysterious - not a peep on the press releases page.)

*Sigh.* So many good little services on the web are gonna get swallowed up by the big guys. So long, anonymity (and probably many open-source projects).

However, if someone offered me enough cash-money to retire right here and now ... I would be tempted to take the money and run. So I can't say I blame them. But still ...

she blinded me with science

I'm one of those people who never goes to the doctor.

It's not due to any fear or anxieties people normally associate with the doctor's office. It's that I've come to realize doctors can't really do that much a lot of the time.

And I don't have health insurance.

But Massachusetts might soon require me to purchase health insurance. Just as drivers have to buy car insurance in order to cruise around, people would have to buy health insurance in order to live around here. Or, at least live around here without getting screwed on state income taxes and without having their driver's licenses rendered unrenewable.

This idea begs a lot of questions, but there's one that's been on my mind lately: Will scientologists be required to buy insurance policies if their bosses don't provide health care?

Seriously, think about it. Why in the world would people who generally reject the modern medical system shell out money for health insurance? It's not like scientologists are going to accept pretty much any treatments in a hospital or drugs that any physician might prescribe.

Not that I'm a defender of wacky religious nutbags. But, probably, the state would eventually cave to a religious objection and exempt scientologists from the mandatory health insurance.

And where does that leave me? Still screwed.

Religion can be played as a get-out-of-jail-free card (evidenced in everything from refusing vaccinations to receiving vegan meals in state-run institutions). But atheists and agnostics can't seem to get ahold of that card. Or, rather, we just don't have the money to buy our freedom back, whereas certain religious groups can afford a good old-fashioned lawsuit. Hell, I won't even be able to afford the insurance itself, despite whatever the government claims about my being over the so-called poverty level.

At least I still have an out-of-state driver's license.

the continental

Every now and then, I come across a gem of knowledge while editing. I trim down a syndicated TV Q&A column every week. One question, in particular, stood out:

Q: I am trying to remember an old TV program back around the early '70s where some lover-type guy dressed in a smoking jacket and a white silk scarf would come onscreen and just talk sexy to the ladies. All the females loved this guy, but I can’t remember the name of the show.

A: It goes back further than the '70s, bub. The show was "The Continental," and it ran on CBS in 1952 and then on ABC from 1952 to '53. Renzo Cesana played the guy, and he was the whole show. He spent the entire 15 minutes cooing sweet nothings to the camera. The show’s sponsor was a stocking company, which led to a funny incident one night (the show was live) when Cesana was telling the ladies that nice stockings were just as important as good makeup. He got mixed up, though, and ended up saying, "What the powder does for your legs, the stockings do for your face."

Holy fuck! I didn't know that Saturday Night Live sketch was based on a real show from the '50s. This one shouldn't have surprised me so much, given that SNL has always satirized shows and world events. But "The Continental"? The sketch always seemed too bizarre to be based on something real. A photo I found of the original romeo had a network-supplied caption warning men that if they came home from work and found their wives swooning or fainted on the couch, never fear for their health, it was probably just due to those 15 minutes of The Continental that just aired. And in the photo itself: Mr. Cesana was decked out in his best martini-swilling, silk paisley robe (with said martini in hand). Wow.

invisible insanity

A shriek echoes through downtown. Like a soprano's vibrato, only applied to a trilled R - a letter and sound on which you'd never hear a singer hold a note. It stops. And starts again. On and off, repeating at irregular but frequent intervals.

As I walk around the corner, I see a scattered crowd of business people, their gazes all pointing in the same direction. For a moment, I imagine the sound is an emergency whistle. Someone is in trouble, but all the passers-by stop to watch instead of help - cold "professionals" who can't be bothered to ease someone else's suffering. After all, it's not their job.

But as I cross the street, I see the whistle blower - a 30-something man, pressed slacks and dress shoes showing beneath his black peacoat. He repeats the shrill call again and again and again, his eyes fixed on the street, the whistle between his lips, both hands at his sides.

And all those business people? Their gazes are actually fixed in the opposite direction, as if they don't have to acknowledge the man's existence if they refuse to make eye contact with him. Or, as they say, out of sight, out of mind.

crumbling to the ground

Everyday there's a news article or few about another U.S. corporation that's laying off its workers, cutting its budget, and struggling to turn higher and higher profits each quarter. The problem, of course, is not that these companies aren't making money, but that the companies aren't continually increasing their revenues. But it doesn't take an economist to figure out that there's no infinite amount of demand to continue to drive profits up. And when you continue to give raises to executives who make four-hundred-and-some times as much as the average worker (all the while when the stocks are falling), well, who's going to be able to afford the products? The system's about to implode despite all their efforts to stay on top. Like dwindling supplies of natural resources, there's no consideration to fixing the problems (okay, so "fixing" here would really mean abandoning the capitalist system) and taking preventative measures to protect the earth and the majority of its inhabitants...a real struggle for survival is going to emerge. So the people at the top are starting to round up the people they think might be troublemakers - better to jail them before anything drastic happens. Better to get that PATRIOT Act into permanent effect, better to make sure those air marshals shoot to kill. Better to make sure the majority of the people in society are scared and asking to give up their rights in lieu of the illusion of security.

sidewalk rage

BOSTON, Mass. - A suburban woman caused a five-pedestrian pile up on Hanover Street yesterday when she stopped dead in her tracks to seach her handbag for breath mints before meeting her fiance for a romantic dinner at Lucca. No one was seriously injured, but several pedestrians, all of whom live in the North End, fled the scene angrily, and witnesses say one pedestrian verbally assaulted the woman who caused the accident.

This isn't the first reported case of sidewalk rage. Over the last few months, this New England city has seen an alarming rise in reported cases of the pedestrian equivalent to road rage. While experts say no conclusive research has been completed, there seems to be two common factors that cause road rage and sidewalk rage: cellular phone usage and stupidity.

"I don't know what's wrong with these people," said Norton Endre, 36, of Boston's North End. "It's [Hanover Street] a busy street - the main drag - and the sidewalks are narrow. Just move to the [expletive] curb if you're not gonna move down the street."

Sal M. Prince, 25, agreed.

"It's bad enough people drive like idiots on Hanover Street," she said. "I mean, between the double parking and the six-point turns in the intersections and the subsequent screaming matches from car windows, we've got enough idiots in the neighborhood. The last thing we need is is this idiocy moving out of the cars and onto the sidewalks. I mean, when I get off work, I just want to walk into my building without having to battle my way through a congregation of people ooh-ing and ah-ing at that stupid life-sized chef statue my landlord puts out in front of his restaurant."

Meanwhile, members of the local business association are concerned about the way neighborhood residents treat visitors here. They say the visitors - largely tourists - are key to the economic health of the area.

"We need to keep the tourists coming back," said Dan Corpratore, the association's vice president. "Sure, it might be a nuisance to always come home to heel-to-toe traffic and Joe Schmoe holding up the line to answer his cell phone, but it's the price we pay for living in a neighborhood as beautiful and historically rich as this. The tourists support our economy, and we need to treat them with respect."

That's why Corpratore said his organization is going to start a public awareness campaign urging people to be nicer to others around them.

But in this city known for its residents' icy relations with everyone around them, it remains to be seen whether the business association's campaign will garner any support.

"It's a nice idea," Prince said. "But we're not known for being nice. That guy stopping foot traffic because he can't walk and talk on his cell phone at the same time - if he's in the way when I get over there, he's getting shoulder checked and getting a mouthful. I got places to be - I don't have time for that kind of BS."

extras in the movie of life

Upon exiting the Government Center T station through the turnstiles, I hear it:

"Animal rights. Sign the petition."

The shout is monotonous. The speaker's face, expressionless. If she were a stand-up comedian, I would call it deadpan. But I think she's serious. I think she really wants people to sign the petition. With a complete lack of passion or enthusiasm, though. It's like she's been put up to it.

Rather, it's like my life is a movie with bad extras. Where do they find these people?

nature: only in mexico

The wind rushes through downtown Boston, and the air is cool enough to necessitate use of a scarf. It might not be snowing, but it feels like it might. Right near City Hall Plaza, in front of the Holocaust Memorial, a woman is walking, barefoot and bikini-clad. Some green palms provide her shade. A man in board shorts is nearby; he's got a volleyball net set up and is looking for someone to step up to the challenge.

As Dave Barry would say, I am not making this up.

And I just might join these beach bums if I weren't on my way to work. Oh, and if they weren't enclosed in fiberglass "promobus." Yes, these are real people. But while my ears reddened in the wind, they were on display in a heated U-Haul truck with transparent walls, sand lining the bottom and tropical plants scattered throughout. The lower rear of the truck had a slogan painted on it: "Nature: Only in Mexico."

OK, so that isn't entirely true. I don't remember what the slogan was exactly, but it was along those lines, and it was that absurd. Clearly the U.S. is going to destroy Mexico's ecosystems while it's working on obliterating its own. So even in the future, if there's only one place left to find nature in the world (aside from that fact meaning we're entirely screwed), it certainly wouldn't be Mexico. But it's a nice idea.

Though I can't say such nice words about the means of advertising. There's something just creepy about a life-sized snow globe with real humans inside (or sun cube, as the case may be). But apparently these are award-winning sun cubes, and they're traveling to a city near you. (You can also find the press release here.)

On the plus side, they're too big to shake. But they're just the right size for gawkers and frat boys with cameras.

new news

Misanthropicity isn't getting updated anymore because its creator now has better things to do, namely his brand new daily newspaper in Cambridge, Mass. For city dwellers here, we've now got a free Monday-Friday paper that beats the hell out of the Metro when it comes to, well, any original content. This isn't the place to get your national or international news; the articles are written by locals for locals, part hard news and part features, and there's an hour-by-hour events calendar with easy to find categorical tags such as "rock," "lecture," "comedy" and "art," among others. The design is clean, the editing is tight, and I just hope it takes off, because it's filling a gap and filling it well. Oh, yes, the important parts: it's called Cambridge Day, and you can pick it up only in Cambridge, mostly in retailers and restaurants (think local businesses such as convenience and grocery stores, 1369, Rosie's, etc). You can go to Cambridge Day online if you want to check out submission and advertising policies, but the content is restricted to print at this time. Oddly, none of the local media has yet caught on or done a write-up or mention in a media column. Get on the ball, people!

make the bosses pay

After attempting to read some of the actual proposed healthcare legislation (Health Care for All has all the necessary and updated reading) as well as news coverage, something strikes me as interesting: how employers play into all this healthcare discussion.

You see, businesses that provide employees with healthcare will get some perks, and businesses who don't provide healthcare will have to pay a tiny bit of money to the state. All this after a lot of lobbying and politicking, of course. But it appears we're only talking only about employers who provide healthcare to full-time employees. This is significant because people who work in retail often would glady take the company health insurance - but the bosses prohibit them from working over 39 hours and thus keep them in part-time status, denying them benefits they deserve. Of course, this means big corporations that provide heathcare to their few full-time employees and otherwise carefully plan ways to keep everyone else classified as part-time would be exempt from paying money to the state to cover all those uninsured workers ... those uninsured workers they created.

healthy appetite

Finally, a story that addresses what Massachusetts residents might actually get from any one of the mandatory healthcare plans being discussed at the statehouse ("Is a $200 policy for healthcare realistic?" Boston Globe, 11/2/05).

Anyone living in Boston knows that the federal poverty level is laughably out of touch with the actual city poverty level. And I'm skeptical the state's subsidies will be enough. People whose income falls between the 200 percent to 300 percent FPL range are barely scraping by in Boston. I know because that's where I fall. After payroll taxes, student loans, rent and utilities, I barely have a total of $200 left for the month - let alone $320 to cover the premium that would be provided under the House plan. Those subsidies would have to be amazing, because when it comes down to weighing the decision between eating (and maybe having enough left over to see one show or movie that month, if I'm lucky) or paying for a healthcare plan (and one I can't even use because the co-pay would put me over-budget and in debt), the choice is simple: I choose food. It certainly has nothing to do with feeling invincible, it's just practical.

same old shit

You'd think after weeks of not updating, I might have something verbose to say. But it's short and sweet: I hate cops. It isn't enough to be a powertripping asshole. You have to make up laws, detain people unnecessarily and waste taxpayer money to boot. Fuck the police.